Passive voice to active voice conversion

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Due to organizational changes at the client end There is a need to showcase to the new stakeholders the capabilities built and knowledge accumulated on the client systems and processes. This is required for growth and sustenance of current business in the account.

How to make last sentence into active voice.

See example:

This is required for growth and sustenance of current business in the account.
asked May 04 '12 at 16:52 srinvas katuri New member

3 answers


1

Your paragraph contains several problem, each more serious than the passive structure of the last sentence.

 

"at the client end" is wordy, business jargon. It can be improved by making it a possessive and moving it --> "Due to the client's organizational change, ..."  The introductory dependent clause needs to end with a comma.

 

"There" does not start a new sentence -- it starts the main independent clause that follows the introductory dependent clause.  Do not capitalize "there".

 

"there is" is considered a passive, weak way to begin a clause or sentence. Who needs to? Consider replacing it with the active "we need to".

 

    "Due to the client's organizational changes, we need to ..."

 

"the capabilities built and knowledge accumulated on the client systems and processes" is awkward, indirect, and difficult to understand. You are trying to link, in parallel, two non-parallel thoughts that share  one word "client". It would be better to use two separate phrases. In one, you are speaking about the capabilities you have built into the client's systems. In the other, you are speaking about your knowledge of the client's processes. --> "the capabilities we have built into their systems and our knowledge of their processes."

 

"to showcase to the new stakeholders" --> you do this for the new stakeholders --> "to showcase for the new stakeholders"

 

 "This is required for growth and sustenance of current business in the account." Besides being passive, there are waaaaaay too many prepositions used in such a short sentence.  A hallmark of good, concise writing is that prepositions represent less than 10% of the total words.  This sentence is 23% prepositions. Still passive, but tighter --> "This is required to maintain and grow the account." To make it active, you need to say who is required to do this. "We need to do this to maintain ..."

 

     "Due to the client's organizational changes, we need to showcase for the new stakeholders the capabilities we have built into their systems and our knowledge of their processes. We need to do this to maintain and grow the account."

link comment edited May 04 '12 at 18:06 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow
0

Passive and active voice have been discussed on this forum many times.  You can view the discussions by using the search field above your question.

link comment answered May 04 '12 at 17:24 Jody M. Expert
0

The average yield of maize in Pakistan is low as compared to other maize growing regions of the world.

link comment answered Mar 10 at 07:06 bilal raza New member

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