Texting and Dating: Best Practices
On the back of one of his albums, Bob Dylan reportedly wrote, “I accept chaos, but does chaos accept me?” In most areas of life, rules and procedures govern everything. However, when it comes to texting and dating, people tend to accept chaos. Should this be the case? Consider whether the following texting and dating guidelines would improve your chances of finding love.
1 Introduce yourself in your first text and use the name of the recipient: “Hi, Kirsten. It’s Brad from the party last night. How’s your day going so far?”
Why it’s effective: How many guys did Kirsten meet at the party last night? Don’t assume that you were the only one! If she’s too embarrassed to ask who you are because you didn’t identify yourself, she might decide not to reply. You’ll have ended your relationship before it starts. By the way, make sure you save the right number with the right name in your phone if you were a social butterfly at the gathering.
2 Text right away.
Why it’s effective: Remember the “wait three days before contact” rule? Yes, you should have some dating codes of conduct. But as standards go, this one should be thrown out the window. According to a website that gives advice to eHarmony users , it’s a good idea to contact a love interest right away. Otherwise, they might lose interest because they think you are playing games or because they found someone else in the meantime.
3 Use proper spelling and grammar. Be careful of text acronyms and shorthand; both you and your recipient need to understand what they mean for them to be worthwhile.
Why it’s effective: The way you write reflects on how intelligent you are perceived to be, especially by someone you haven’t met in person. Good grammar gives the impression of education, eloquence, and good breeding. AskMen.com reports that bad grammar can impede your chances of attracting a mate. In online dating, men who use “whom” correctly are contacted 30 percent more often than men who confuse it with “who”!
4 Don’t keep sending texts if the person hasn’t responded. “Hi, Bill! Do you want to go out again?” (minutes later) “Hi, Bill. I was wondering if you got my text about a second date.” (the next morning) “Hi, Bill. I sent you a text. Did you get it?”
Why multiple texts aren’t effective: Modern communication is pretty reliable. If you sent a text, it probably arrived. If you are in a relationship with someone, call or visit them at home to make sure everything is okay. If you are just getting to know the person, a lack of response might indicate that they have decided not to pursue a relationship with you. If they are interested and have telephone issues, they will likely reconnect with you as soon as they can. Resist the urge to send text after unreturned text; you run the risk of appearing desperate. And if there really is a problem with their phone, they won’t be getting your texts anyway.
Texting is a tool for communication. You shouldn’t send texts haphazardly. The simple guidelines above are easy to implement. Don’t be content with chaos like Bob Dylan; it’s unlikely to result in a healthy relationship. Take time to think about what and how you text. Your well-crafted messages may be the very things that attract the attention of your perfect match.