is what i am writting correct?
how can i modify this sentence?
After I have collected enough money to cover my expenses in order to study in United States, I have quit with my professional career to be able to ameliorate my knowledge in construction management and pursue of my dream to gain M.S. in one of the best Engineering and Construction Management program at University of California, Berkeley.
"After collecting enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I left my professional position. I want to increase my knowledge of construction management and pursue my dream of earning an M.S. at one of the best engineering and construction management programs, at the University of California, Berkeley."
|link comment||answered Nov 27 '12 at 13:53 David Contributor|
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