It is a personalized objective on a resume

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What is wrong with this statement.

 

"To obtain the position of Web and Social Media Editor within the XXXX; where I will utilize my strengths and professionalism within an organization with like-minded ethics and values."

grammar asked Mar 20 at 15:28 BP New member

1 answer


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There are two problems.

 

1. The main clause in your sentence is a non-finite clause: to obtain X normally cannot stand on its own. However, it is fine if it is a bullet point, as it could be on a CV.

 

But if you want a clean gramamtical sentence, you need to add a subject and a verb, and retain to obtain X as part of a verb phrase, e.g. My goal is to obtain X.

 

(In principle you could also make the non-finite clause the subject and add a verb phrase, e.g. To obtain X is my goal. But in your case this wouldn't work, because the XXXX should be next to where---unless you rewrite the second part of your sentence more substantially.)

 

2. Either the semicolon should be replaced by a comma, or else what follows it should be rewriten so that it is an independent clause.  In your case, what follows the semi-colon is a non-restrictive relative clause.

 

So either of the following would be acceptable:

 

My goal is to obtain the position of Web and Social Media Editor within the XXXX, where I will utilize my strengths and professionalism within an organization with like-minded ethics and values.

My goal is to obtain the position of Web and Social Media Editor within the XXXX; there I will utilize my strengths and professionalism within an organization with like-minded ethics and values.

 

However, as a matter of style, I would say that these sentences are too long, and that you need to rewrite them.

link comment answered Mar 20 at 20:54 linguisticturn Expert

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