Fog hovered the trees and hilly mountains in the black forest. Jay threw his canvas bag over his sho

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I changed the opening of my book from (Mist hid the overcast sky.........) Is there a better way to write this sentence?

asked Jan 28 '11 at 16:06 Noel Jones New member

Noel, I pretty much concur with Kim's evaluation. You want avoid sentences that are too short and sentences that are too long. You can trust those two things hanging on either side of your head when you are in doubt. You write to be read and it is always a sound and sense thing. So, when you write, read out loud what you have written. If it doesn't flow, and doesn't make sense to you, nine times out of ten, it won't make sense to anyone who reads it. Just some basic editing guidelines that you can do for yourself. You will find that you can be you your own best wordsmith if you will only tinker with your words. They are yours. You own them. Look at me. I said not to write short sentences and that is exactly what I have done. Sometimes you step outside of the lines to make a point. Connie WArnerJan 30 '11 at 14:23

Thank you, I'll make a note on what you have said. This is important to me. Noel JonesJan 31 '11 at 07:50

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