Does this make a logical sense
Academics have always been my stronghold. My inquisitive nature and a strong desire to ingrain the fundamental principles, as well as, techniques of any subject have enabled me to achieve an excellent academic record. I was awarded the Merit Certificate for my performance in Indian Certificate of Secondary Education for securing school first and 100% in Computer Applications. Later, in highly competitive entrance examination to the undergraduate program, I stood among top 2 % out of 170,000 candidates and admitted into GITAM College of engineering, one of the best Engineering colleges in India. The growing involvement of computers in various fields of science and my strong passion for it encouraged me to choose Information Technology as my branch of study. I had completed my B.Tech with G.P.A. of 9.34 on a scale of 10.00 standing among the top 0.7% out of 180 students in my department.
I would replace ", as well as," with "and" in the first line;
add the definite article "the" before Indian Certificate;
add the indefinite article "a" before "competitive entrance exam";
add "was" before "admitted";
replace "branch" with "field";
add the indefinite article "a" before "G.P.A";
replace "passion for it" with "passion for IT"
and add a comma after "10.00".
As regards logic, how did your maths get you in the top 0.7% out of 180 students?
|link comment||answered Oct 10 '12 at 14:10 Peter Guess Expert|
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