The development of core program in various departments of school allowed more flexible free time tor students to explore and socialize in other subjects such as arts, music, and drama.
The development of the core program in various department of school allowed more flexible free time for a student to explore and socialize in other subjects such as arts, music and drama.
You have two versions of the same sentence. What you get wrong in one version, you correct in the other version -- and vice versa. Can you pick out those two items by comparing the versions?
In both versions, the definite article "the" is required before "school".
In any case, this is a long sentence. You may wish to restructure your sentence or make some elements more concise to mitigate its length. For instance, "departments of the school" could be "school's departments". Does "and socialize" really belong in this sentence? Are they "socializing" in those subjects? I ask, because your sentence says they are. Consider dropping the phrase or rewriting. Perhaps:
The development of a core program in the school's various departments allowed more flexible free time for a student to socialize or explore other subjects such as arts, music and drama.
|link||edited Aug 05 '12 at 23:31 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
The Worst Date
It was six years ago I downloaded a chat site. I never believed in falling in love with
someone through a computer. This chat site was for me to use to stay out of trouble
during a difficult time. The sight allowed members to play music and talk to others from
all over the world. There was this one DJ that intrigued me the most. I would go and
watch his shows all the time. Now, just by the sight of this guy he was not anything I
normally would go for.
We started chatting and he wanted to help me fix my sounds so I could become a DJ
also. From that day on we spent many hours chatting. He was also a musician and would
play and sing guitar to me on webcam. We watched many horror movies and spent many
hours on the telephone. The usage on my cell phone was 37,000 minutes a month, that is
11.5 days straight of talking. Although this guy remained very mysterious I was still
intrigued. Four months into it he would still call from an unavailable number, I just figured
he was being careful getting to know me.
As time went on I started to find out more and more about the man I was falling in
love with. He was a man of great charisma and looked to be about 6 foot tall with Dark
Black hair, definitely a Rocker. He claimed his name was Dadrian, and he was 39 years old
from Virginia. After two and a half years of staring at one another through a computer, I
needed some answers. It just so happened that my cousin in Virginia was not in good
health and asked me if I would like to come down for 6 months and stay and help her. So,
I packed up my belongings and put everything in storage.
After being in Virginia for two months and many phone calls of tears wondering why
my soul mate, my man of my dreams had not come yet, He calls me one day and said he
was one block away with no warning. I was in shock and very distressed, all my clothes
were dirty !I needed a shower !Rushing causes me terrible anxiety on top of him being one
block away, I was freaking out ! When he showed up at my doorstep, I was shaking and in
complete shock. I said to myself is this the man I am truly in love with? He looked as if he
needed a step ladder to get out of that big truck. This guy appeared to be a resemblance of
what he looked like on cam. There was many differences though. He had light brown
scraggly hair, stood 5 " 7' and was dressed like a redneck from the woods. I said to
myself, Where is my Rocker!! He had some dingy jeans and a shirt that looked like it was
from the store Chess King Back in the 1980's.Although I was extremely happy he had
shown , I was just extremely scared and overwhelmed because of the love I held inside.
We drove around conversing for a while as both of our nerves were still on fire from
the initial meet. We decided to go get something to eat and I told him I would like to go
to a Thai food restaurant. He was a chicken wing and pizza type of guy but he said he
liked spicy foods so we went where I wanted to go. I stared into his eyes all throughout
dinner thinking this is my true love. When the food came out he was full of jokes about the
food and decided to eat a whole 2 Chile peppers. His face starting to turn red immediately
and I was laughing very hard. He thought he was so cool, goes to show those peppers
were no joke. It pretty much hurt his whole stomach so he could not enjoy the rest of the
meal. He was a gentlemen and paid for the dinner.
After dinner we decided to find a place to go sing some karaoke he was just dying to
show me he was truly talented in person. On the way to the karaoke bar we passed a little
rose bush and he picked me a rose. These memories I would hold in my heart forever. We
went into the karaoke bar and sang a song each, indeed he was truly a great singer I was
very impressed. I never wanted the night to end but after our one song it happened to be
1:00 am and he had a long drive ahead so we decided to call it a night. When he dropped
me off he walked me up to my door we had heard a sound which I thought it was
fireworks not knowing my surroundings. It was not fireworks it was a gun firing off at the
end off my street and pretty much ruined the mood but he kissed me on the cheek like you
would kiss your grandmother. I wondered to myself if he liked me or not.
He called me the next day like nothing ever happened like he was still in love with me.
We were making plans to go to a lynyrd skynyrd concert but 2 days later he got extremely
hurt. It was 2 months of no phone calls that much because he was in severe pain dragging
himself on the floor and in bed on pain medications. My days seem to go by so slow
without him and the sadness that I held was incredible because this accident made it so he
couldn't drive. By this time my cousin which I had went there to take care of was off her
pain pump, feeding tube and pic line. She was walking again and cooking and cleaning for
her husband again, So I knew it was time for me to go back to NY my duties to my cousin
were accomplished and my chances of seeing him at this point again were not good.
That 6 hours I spent with him would have to last me until the next time we could meet
up.5 years after I found out that his delay to coming to see me was because he was still
married, his morals got in the way. He was a Christian man and did not feel appropriate if
he had cheated. Also ,found out his name was not Dadrian it was Camm and his age
wasn't 39 he was much older. His kids name was not Josh it was Dawson and the wife was
not Barb it was Buffy. So after all these lies I said to myself why ? I knew him as a person
inside and out but the small details were all mixed up. We still remain the best of friends
and know we love each other and I have not been able to find another man datable.
I did learn a big valuable lesson from this though. If I were to start all over with someone else I could never choose to fall in love again online. The lies the distance and
the many nights of crying. I just want to meet a man who is from around here and
understands all this but I have tried dating a few and it never works out. I often wonder if
two people like us were made to be with each other but the time is not right .I myself am
in college with no license and am 23 months sober with no driver's license and he is now
divorced after all this finally and plays his music out in bars but remains 20 years sober. I
wonder if our day will ever come. I hope that our day will end with us being married and
me moving to Virginia. But alls I can say is in Due time, There will come a day, our love
will never go away.
|link||answered Feb 16 '13 at 03:39 leighann New member|
Hero of the day
Person voted on the most questions.