Moving from 'once' or 'has' to another 'has'


Dear Grammar people, 


I was wondering if you can move from a sentence such as 'they were once .... then they had.... 


For example, if we take a look at the beginning of a poem I wrote earlier: 



They were once slime-morsels, contained
in a thick black soup for frogs and newts,
but they had clambered out of the deep sopping murk
where most stayed swallowed and churned in darkness,
and on stems their minerals morphed into azure stones,
with sockets for veined-glass-wings: set for another world,
set to pump up, to flap above the algae of the clutching earth.


Is the progression okay? 





asked Jun 30 '14 at 21:13 Daniel Oakes New member

0 answers

Your answer

Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.