I am having issues restructuring the follow sentence.
There are several aspects of media that need drastic changes as media has become a major aspect of the culture in America, we the people must seek to take control of the issues troubling us most by ensuring the United States government seize control of what they wish to show us going on in the world, as well as every one taking responsibility for what media we consume, and ensuring that our successors make the proper decisions in what media should be consumed.
I don’t fully understand what you’re trying to get across to the reader here, and it’s a bit convoluted as a whole. It is also one big run on sentence, so it needs to be split up a bit. I tried to fix it without fully rewriting it in fear of losing your core meaning, but I feel you will need to do that.
Read this and see if it lost your meaning or not.
(There are several aspects of the media that is in need of drastic changes. The media has become a major aspect within the culture of America so much so that we the people must seek to take control of the issues troubling us. We are ensuring that the United States government seizes control of the media, and we are allowing them to pick and choose what they wish to show us about what’s going on in the world. We even allow them to take responsibility for what media we consume. This is ensuring that our successors make the proper decisions in what media they should be consumed.)
I dont like it but I hope it help you find a way to fix it. good luck
|link comment||answered Apr 25 '14 at 07:24 allen New member|
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