Reworking my Conclusion

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My conclusion:

 

Although the relationship between a Korean immigrant mother and a 2nd generation Korean American daughter remains unclear, it’s complexity is acknowledged by my research findings.

In order to locate her voice and identity as a Korean American woman, a daughter uncovers the connections between Korea and America, between the individual and the mixed communities; between her mother and herself. My research explores the tensions that Korean immigrant mothers and Korean-American daughters confront in the attempt to negotiate the conflicting demands of their culture and families with their relationship with each other as women. The daughter’s rejection of  gender and racial oppressions embodied by the cultural systems she is socialized into, and her dependence on her mother, her culture, and her adopted homeland were illustrated through my reasearch. Ultimately, the younger Korean-American daughter expresses a contemporary response to the older Korean generation.
Although the Korean-American daughter resents the oppressions evidenced within the patriarchal systems that socialize her, she does not entirely reject the importance of her mother’s culture. Therefore, the daughter’s need to find her unique self-identity is reflected through her strife to break the silence that constrict racism within American culture and sexism within Korean culture. This journey to find an identity as a Korean-American woman allows her to articulate her rejections of American and Korean authorities. Yet her love for her mother and respect of the American community enable her to attain self-actualization.

 

 

What my teacher said I need to change:

 

I think that this
should be discussed earlier, in relationship to the socialization (gender
roles) of Korean women and Korean-American daughters, so that you can end
by developing the responses of the daughters: the rejection that is part of
the process of self-identify exploration.  Is rejection (of the mother
and/or Korean culture) part of the first phase, which may get resolved or
balanced with acceptance and appreciation in the phase of self-actualization?

 

Any ideas how to rework this?

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