How do I fix this sentence for better point
According to the Smart Measure result life factors score of 73% , individual attribute score of 70%, and reading rate and recall score of 83 wpm and 60% respectively indicate that I need to develop skills necessary to be successful in furthering my education.
You either need to say
"According to [A] [B], and [C], I need to..."
"The [A] [B] and [C] indicate that I need..."
You cannot do both.
"According to [A][B], and [C]" is a phrase.
"indicate" is an improperly placed verb that could begin to function correctly if you removed "According" and allowed [A][B], and [C] to function as its subject.
"that I need..." is a dependent clause.
You have no independent clause.
You need an independent clause.
|link comment||edited Sep 17 '13 at 11:35 Aaron Prejean Expert|
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