Synonyms for "power"
I have a problem with synonyms for "power" in the following example: “First Myloc is about six feet tall he is built muscular on his head he is wearing a fine burnished gladiators helmet his eyes were as a flame of fire and his feet like unto horse hoofs his voice as the sounds of many waters out of his mouth as a whip like tongue sharp as a sword the formidable beast was called Myloc which I saw he and his six masters that sat on their throne which gave him power and he had breastplates as it were breastplates of iron and the sound of his wings was as the sounds of chariots running to battle in Rome.”
Your use of 'power' here is perfectly fine. But, this is a run-on sentence. After each complete thought you should almost always put a period. See below.
“First, Myloc is about six feet tall. He is muscular. On his head he wears a fine, burnished gladiator's helmet. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and his feet are like unto horse hooves. His voice has the sound of many waters flowing out of his mouth. He has a whip-like tongue, sharp as a sword. The formidable beast was called Myloc. I saw him and his six masters, who sat on their thrones and had given Myloc power. He had breastplates of iron and his wings sounded like chariots running to battle in Rome.”
|link comment||answered Apr 04 '11 at 14:24 Kimberly Expert|
What a coincidence, I just did a Google search for "synonyms for power" (looking for a more archaic word). When I saw this question I thought, "Oh crap! Did I post that here?" (it is 4am afterall, and I have been editing all night).
Drop the "First"...because there is no "Second" or "Third"...so it's extraneous.
I saw him, and his six master's sitting on their thrones. They had given him great power. Myloc's musculcar frame stood almost six feet tall. A burnished gladiator helm atop his head, his eyes burning like fire. His whip-like tongue was as sharp as a sword, and his voice flowed with the sound of a raging river. Bearing a breastplate made from solid iron, his wings sounded like the waring chariots of Rome. He was a most formidable beast.
Pardon the 'poetic license'... but that's my two cents worth!
|link comment||edited Apr 19 '12 at 11:12 Tony Proano Expert|
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