thesis statement- punctuation


Grammarly is siting this sentence as having incorrect grammar- too many commas. Help!

See example:

Clearly, health care professionals that do not closely adhere to all standards promotes indolence in the workplace, creates disunity among many, and certainly becomes a corporate liability.
asked Nov 12 '11 at 01:21 Tami Knutson New member

1 answer


It's probably suggesting you remove the last comma, which is a stylistic issue and up for debate (see this post on the Grammarly blog:


However, there are other issues with your sentence. 


Health care professionals (plural) 'promote', 'create' and 'become'.  You currently have them for the singular (promotes, creates and becomes).


Health care professionals are also people, so I would change 'that' to 'who'.


I have removed the final comma, though it's not necessary to do so if you don't wish to.


Corrected version below: 


"Clearly, health care professionals who do not closely adhere to all standards promote indolence in the workplace, create disunity among many and certainly become a corporate liability."


I hope this helps.

link comment answered Nov 14 '11 at 10:30 Siân Harris Expert

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