what isthe major mistake with this all sentence grammer,punctuation speling..pls?


                                        Answer for the question
        1-I admire chachi taddese is the best known for her musical career as one of the first Ethiopian   artists to blend the sounds reggae with amaharic producing a musical style of her own. But there is much more to chaichi than just music and I admire always. Because she used her super star status to raise awareness about street kids in Ethiopia and personally changed the lives of many destitute kids for the better. After years of collaboration with individual and organizations for the cause she founded her own non profit organization in Atlanta in the year 2000, which she named hohete Tesfa meaning Gate of hope .This organization is dedicated to helping Ethiopian orphaned with HIV/AIDS.
Chachi in Ethiopia 1992 with her first album selling over 90,000 copies worldwide, but her focus was on the plight of street children and she decide to donate a portion of the proceeds form every show she performed there after to help street children in Ethiopia.
Finally I am always admiring her. She is a proud and compassionate Ethiopian who believes in making a difference. Her humanitarian works have changed the lives of many children in Ethiopia for the better and have inspired many others to do the same.
2 -My personal goal is:
-by my own profession I want to create my own business.
- participating in humanitarian service especially in education or health in Ethiopia or through out of the world.
-to build my own family.(marriage, having a child).
-My professional Goal is:
-Seeing new environment.
- Opening a consultant firm after graduation.
-Career advancement.
-Humanitarian involvement through my profession.
-studding hared to get CPA certificate in Accounting.
-Taking some additional short courses to built my profession.
-learning any new thing either related with my qualification or other which help me to update my knowledge with a new technology.
3- I wish to gain from Maharishi University of management more things by education such as
-Seeing new environment.
-Ethical values in my profession.
-Social responsibility.
-Emerging friends  in my area of specialization.
-Innovation management.
- Learning new technology about my profession.
- To be successful in all the courses given in time frame and to be capable by MBA program.
-knowing very well about stock cared. 
-seeing new teaching style, meeting different professors who have different experience and students who have different back ground from different country.
4-I feel very comfort about living and studying in academic environment like Maharishi University because I wish to grow my profession and I like to see new environment and meeting new people with new technology. so I am very happy to stay in maharishi university which is best for me from other I had recently. 

5-I feel very happy because if you are not sustained this, it is more dangerous for all student healthy and communication through all the university so I admire the university and I will participate in this area if I accepted. 

6-If I accepted I wish to work my research paper by financial statement or auditing area.

asked Nov 01 '11 at 15:03 adyam yimer New member

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