writing style

0

how should I re write this sentence

See example:

To our amazement above the piano was a huge crystal chandelier which sparkled as the light hit it.
asked Jun 15 '13 at 20:52 cecilia garrett New member

3 answers


0

I assume that the huge size of chandelier explains the "amazement," but I'm not convinced "To our amazement" belongs in the sentence at all.  If you want to keep it, then "To our amazement" should be followed by a comma and the word "we."

  • To our amazement, we noticed a huge crystal chandelier hanging above the piano, and it sparkled as the light hit it.

You have other  options too. I recommend using an active verb, such as "hung," instead of the verb "was."

  • Amazingly, above the piano hung a huge crystal chandelier, which sparkled as the light hit it.
  • Amazingly, above the piano hung a huge crystal chandelier that sparkled as the light hit it.
  • A huge crystal chandelier, which sparkled in the light, hung above the grand piano.
link comment answered Jun 15 '13 at 22:50 Dr. G Contributor
0

Above the piano and sparkling in the light was a huge, crystal chandelier. It was an amazing sight. That one passed the Grammarly Check test.

link comment answered Jun 16 '13 at 00:27 Brother Dave Contributor
0

In this Generation we people who use high-tech gadgets like smartphones and computers nowadays. Actually, you can use that kind of gadgets to spread some very important news. so people who are also using high-tech gadgets will be aware. Because people like them prefer to stay in the house and does not watch television. and you should be careful if you post something in the social media because if you posted something people might judge you or insulted of what you posted in social media. have you noticed? Our Culture is changing because of technology. people can express their feelings freely and online and we are alert always when it comes to a very important meeting and news. Without knowing that information that you gather from social media are from the humans like you. For example, the online news that particular news is not from the news reporter it comes from the ordinary person that might witness the incident or happenings they spread the information through the internet like Facebook  or other social media sites. actually, you can also do that for free because not all the news reporter can respond easily where the incident happens if you have your gadgets there then you can take videos or pictures then post it in the social media. have you ever wonder? Some of the news in the television are coming from the ordinary people. The reason why they do that because they wanted to cooperate in their country  in the way of spreading some important news. I know that you are using Facebook and Twitter did you know that? That online site you use can help you if you are in danger just post the information freely to your homepage so people might read the information and reported to the police, Media and information literacy are very useful in our Generation. Actually Love letters is no longer popular in our Generation because we can express our feelings to that person through chatting or posting on the social media sites Facebook. And Diary is no longer popular also because we have now twitter we can post freely our feelings there and if your loved ones are away from you then you can use Social media to communicate your love ones there you can use Social media application like Skype or Facebook video call, Online Communication are better than writing letters because Writing letters takes time to send to the receiver while Online Communication can send easily to the receiver for free and the new today is people can teach online to their student there is an Online Communication there, and we can share ideas or talent using social media like YouTube or post Video on Facebook for free and you might be discovered and be a pop star if people get impressed by your talent that’s how awesome and High-Tech our generation today, Media Literacy is the ability to access, analyze, Evaluate, and create media. therefore you can gather some very important information using social media and its free. people who use social media to gather some information is a media literate person it's very important to be a media literate person because you will become aware and updated of what's happening in your society, have you notice? our culture is changing because of technology and everyone can post freely on Facebook don't you see? the world is changing because of technology and now let's proceed to Literacy as an expression of Freedom of Speech in the old generation we use radio, newspapers, and television so we can gather some very important information or seek some information but the disadvantage of this. it is delayed a months, weeks, probably a day while in the new generation today we have social media that we can post or seek some information freely we have cell phones computers or other high-tech gadgets that can connect to social media and its free even though you live in the old generation you better accept that world is always changing what I mean is the world is changing because technology is improving and we should accept it. Living in this world is free so you should share information freely if you are a media, literate person, and your loved ones are away from you. it's better to use social media like Skype or Facebook video chat and it's free to do that in social media we should thank the creator of Facebook and  twitter. And the high-tech gadgets we use. Media Information Literacy as an expression of Freedom of Speech or Expression the meaning of this is you can express your feelings using social media. you can gather some information using social media, you can seek some very important information using social media, if you miss your loved ones then you can use social media to chat them or to have a video chatting that is free for all people in this world whether you're a media literate person or not its free if you have the gadgets that they require a gadget that can connect to social media don't you see? our world is changing because of that will add something about Information literacy. Information Literacy is when you seek some very important information or give some information and how to evaluate. Use and communicate it in an ethical manner so now you know that we have a freedom of in social media but you should be careful also when you post something on social media because there are idiot people who will share their virus. they share the virus through some adult <a href="http://sites.and" rel="nofollow">sites.and</a> your gadget will be broken so, in other words, be careful on social media because we people are not too much careful of what we click  so I hope you learn  on my Blog after you read please visit my Facebook  like and comment Thumbs up on my blog Thank you Media literate people.

link comment answered Oct 19 at 02:56 jose rago New member

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.