can you please correct my bussiness letter


It was pleasure speaking with you earlier. As promised here is information about us and how we explore the possibility working with Srilankan  air in the future. Our main market are a legal consultancy and travel. The  legal consultancy is  working  with  Chinese  students  who want to come  to study in Uk and we  help them  find  university  all round in Uk ,  accommodation  and extension visa, in addition we help  travel and tour visit In Europe , In Uk and we support find lower flight ticket  to go back their country  with single way, also we work with  leisure tourism customer. The reason  we  are  writing to  request  about  CAT35 contract and  we wonder explore  market of  Chinese  with  Srilankan air, as we have  already  mentioned major market is China 100% Chinese customer and if your policy work with bonds system we  are ready to for the goal, please kindly  accept our  request. We assure you of our best cooperation at all times. For  your attention  we  are  working  with  BA and CZ  they support  for the students more  facilities  such as   lower prices and  baggage allowance.     

asked Jun 05 '13 at 21:46 Nathan New member

1 answer


This is incredibly long for a forum such as this. It might help if I tell you that the second sentence is incredibly awkward, though, and needs a comma after "As promised".

link comment answered Jun 06 '13 at 06:06 TyJBrown13 New member

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