Why can't I use "vs."
Is "vs." not proper in this context?
Pursuant to our discovery walk thru this morning, I was wondering if Kathryn Brickner would be the person I would engage in obtaining your current voice/data bills so I can complete a side x side comparison showing your line item by line item on what you have currently vs. what I would propose to save your company dollars?
In general, this text is very informal. If you mean for it to be casual, like a letter to a friend, it's OK, but otherwise I suggest the following changes:
Pursuant to our discovery walk-through this morning, I would like to complete a side-by-side, line-item comparison of your current voice and data costs and what I propose to save your company money. I was wondering if Kathryn Brickner would be the person I would talk to in order to obtain your current voice and data bills so that I can complete this comparison.
(no question mark necessary for indirect questions.)
|link comment||answered Jul 27 '11 at 02:19 Kimberly Expert|
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