Need help with wordiness in sentence.

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How do I shorten or help to make the scentence flow better

See example:

According to H. J. Anslinger of the United States Commissioner of Narcotics states in the magazine Scientific American in the issue dating back to May of 1938, "Marihuana is a more dangerous drug than heroin or cocaine, and "marijuana the drug is adhering to its Old World traditions of murder, assault, rape, physical demoralization, and mental breakdown (Great Reefer Madness Propaganda Quotes:", 2012, p. Xx-Xx)."
asked Jan 16 '13 at 16:31 Tammy L. Ehman New member

1 answer


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Focus on making this section more concise: According to H. J. Anslinger of the United States Commissioner of Narcotics states in the magazine Scientific American in the issue dating back to May of 1938,

 

Clarify what is a quote and what is not. Not knowing the quote I do not know where the quotation marks should be, but it looks like two of them are in the wrong spots or are missing.

 

"Marihuana is a more dangerous drug than heroin or cocaine," and "marijuana the drug is adhering to its Old World traditions of murder, assault, rape, physical demoralization, and mental breakdown." (Great Reefer Madness Propaganda Quotes: 2012, p. Xx-Xx).

 

I added two quotation marks (encapsulating the two quotations) and deleted two others (the last two that are not part of what is being quoted). I also added a period (that may need to be an ellipsis depending on the quote itself) and deleted a comma from your citation.

 

Be consistent in the way you spell MARIJUANA... you have it once with an H and then with a J.

link comment answered Jan 16 '13 at 17:58 Tony Proano Expert

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