25 Giggle-worthy Writing Quotes

by • September 29, 2013
Writer_John
(Image from Onomantomedia)

Writing can be a serious, straight-faced endeavor. Stop staring at that blinking cursor and take a cerebral vacation with these hilarious quotes about the fails and prevails of writing.

  1. “Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.” ― Robert A. Heinlein

  2. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” ― Douglas Adams

  3. “There’s no such thing as writer’s block. That was invented by people in California who couldn’t write.” ― Terry Pratchett

  4. “A poet can survive everything but a misprint.” ― Oscar Wilde

  5. “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” ― Mark Twain

  6. “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” ― Stephen King

  7. “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

  8. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”― Steven Wright

  9. “There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” ― W. Somerset Maugham

  10. “Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” ― E.L. Doctorow

  11. “I want to write a poem about “Truth,” “Honor,” “Dignity,” and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it.” ― Jarod Kintz

  12. “I am a drinker with writing problems.” ― Brendan Behan

  13. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” ― Steve Martin

  14. “Nothing’s a better cure for writer’s block than to eat ice cream right out of the carton.” ― Don Roff

  15. “I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?
” ― Jarod Kintz

  16. “The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.” ― Bill Watterson

  17. “I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers. 
” ― Jarod Kintz

  18. “If you can’t annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.” ― Kingsley Amis

  19. “Writers will happen in the best of families.” ― Rita Mae Brown

  20. “Television has raised writing to a new low.” ―Samuel Goldwyn

  21. “I write out of revenge.” ― William Goldman

  22. “A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ” ― Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

  23. “…(W)here there’s drama, there’s crap.” ― Jincy Willett

  24. “You never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something.” ― H.L. Mencken

  25. “I think all writing is a disease. You can’t stop it.” ― William Carlos Williams

What are your favorite chuckle-generating quotes? Share them in the comments!

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