Squinting Modifier

0

What is wrong with this sentence?

See example:

Families are dealing with multiple stressors to include downsizing, financial issues, and Soldiers returning from deployments.
asked Nov 29 '12 at 15:30 Isilda Allen New member

1 answer


1

Mostly you need to change "to include," since that construction doesn't work here, and you may want to make it plain that the soldiers are family members.  You could say

 

"Families are dealing with multiple stressors, including downsizing, financial issues, and loved ones returning from military deployments."

 

Or

 

"Families are dealing with multiple stressors, which include downsizing, financial issues, and loved ones returning from military deployments."

 

Your could also say "financial pressures" instead of "financial issues," making its negative aspect more explicit.

link answered Nov 29 '12 at 16:23 David Contributor

Thanks David, Very helpful! appreciate yur help.

Isilda AllenNov 30 '12 at 18:52

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