is what i am writting correct?

0

how can i modify this sentence?

See example:

After I have collected enough money to cover my expenses in order to study in United States, I have quit with my professional career to be able to ameliorate my knowledge in construction management and pursue of my dream to gain M.S. in one of the best Engineering and Construction Management program at University of California, Berkeley.
asked Nov 27 '12 at 13:33 Yildirim Kilincarslan New member

2 answers


1

David's revision is pretty good but the original first sentence is unclear in terms of what has happened in the past and what will happen in the future.  So, depending on these, there are other options for that first sentence.

 

Also, 'saving enough money' sounds more natural than 'collecting enough money'.  Or, rather, the verbs have different meanings, and I think probably you mean 'save', not 'collect': 'saving enough money' means that you take money from your paycheck or other personal financial resources and save it for this purpose, and 'collecting enough money' means that you get money from other people, not from your regular income or other financial resources that are personal, for this purpose.  I think you probably mean 'saving enough money'.

 

If the 'saving enough money' and the 'left my professional position' are both in the PAST

 

After saving enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I left my professional position. This is David's suggested sentence, and it works fine if both events are in the past.  There is one more possibility, using a participle clause:

 

After having saved enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I left my professional position.

 

If the 'saving enough money' and the 'left my professional position' are both in the FUTURE

 

After saving enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I will leave my professional position.

 

or

 

After I save enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I will leave my professional position.

 

or

 

After having saved enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I will leave my professional position.

 

 I hope this helps.  Please let me know if you have any other questions.

link answered Nov 27 '12 at 14:40 Shawn Mooney Expert

Thanks. I used "After having saved enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I left my professional position."

Yildirim KilincarslanNov 27 '12 at 17:02

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1

"After collecting enough money to cover my expenses while I study in the United States, I left my professional position.  I want to increase my knowledge of construction management and pursue my dream of earning an M.S. at one of the best engineering and construction management programs, at the University of California, Berkeley."

link comment answered Nov 27 '12 at 13:53 David Contributor

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