Where would I place the comma in this sentence I can't seem to see it?

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Countless times we have heard in the news where stakeholders within corporations were unethical and either practiced unethical behavior with company stocks or displayed dangerous unethical dealings with production or waste of company services.

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Countless times we have heard in the news where stakeholders within corporations were unethical and either practiced unethical behavior with company stocks or displayed dangerous unethical dealings with production or waste of company services.
asked Nov 25 '12 at 20:39 LaTayna Jackson New member

1 answer


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Your sentence is very wordy, which adds confusion to the sentence. The reason you need commas is because you have a list of three things - either this, or that, or the other thing. Even with the commas, it is still very awkward and messy.

 

You have made a common mistake with the use of the word where.  We hear this when that happens, or we hear about something.  Where is used for a location. 

 

You have a good bit of redundancy using the words unethical, with, and withinStakeholders within corporations can be called corporate stakeholders.  You can put the adjective in front of that instead of after.  We have heard news about unethical corporate stakeholders.

 

Now that the beginning of the sentence is tightened up, you have to decide how to present the three examples of unethical behavior – behavior with company stocks, dangerous dealings with production, and waste of company services.  You can add it to the same sentence, but you need to indicate that you are going to be listing some things.  We have heard news about unethical corporate stakeholders involved in activities such as ... .  You could also list the examples in a separate sentence.

 

The wording of each item on the list, though, is quite vague. What exactly does each one mean?  If you want to remain vague, then there isn’t much reason to mention them at all.  The mention of “unethical behavior” says the same thing.  If you want to give some examples, pick out two or three specific examples – insider trading, bypassing costly safety procedures, expensive trips on the company dime.   

link comment answered Nov 26 '12 at 00:36 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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