Please check a small text

0

It is spring. I wake up at 7 o’clock in the morning. My working day begins. It is already light, because a day is longer than a night. I don’t want it so much, but I must wake up. If I stayed in bed a few minutes more, it would be better and nicer! If I closed my eyes and slept further, it would be better. But no! Unfortunately, I must wake up. I drag myself to the bathroom very slowly. I wash my face and my hands and brush my teeth. After I have finished my morning toilet, I get dressed. After that, I go to the kitchen. I cook 2 eggs and make a couple of sandwiches – that is how I have my breakfast. After that, I pack my stuff. Before going to work, I check the light, water and so on. I get into my car and start a motor. I could go by the underground, but I go by my car because I need it. What do I see on the street again? The endless traffic jams go on and on for many miles. It looks as a sea. I usually spend about 40-60 minutes in traffic jams. 40-60 minutes of my free private time. I reach my work very angry. I go upstairs on the sixth floor. I sit down on my chair and begin to work. My working day has just really begun. 

asked Nov 22 '12 at 13:35 Alex Ivanchenko New member

Experts are willing to help you out, but you've got to put forth a little more effort.

KoshikNov 22 '12 at 15:07

add comment

3 answers


2

Alex, this passage is much too long for this forum to address in detail.  Your passage is written at about a third grade reading level.  Unless the reader is eight years old, it is too simplistic.

link comment answered Nov 22 '12 at 17:47 Patty T Grammarly Fellow
1

I wake up at 7 o’clock in the morning. -----> I wake up at 7 a.m.

My working day begins. At what time? Is it at 7 a.m.?

It is already light, because a day is longer than a night.---> I didn't understand this sentence.

I don’t want it so much, but I must wake up. What don't you want so much? 

If I stayed in bed a few minutes more, it would be better and nicer! --->If I stayed in bed a few minutes more, it would have been better and nicer! 

 

"I wash my face and my hands and brush my teeth. After I have finished my morning toilet, I get dressed. After that, I go to the kitchen. I cook 2 eggs and make a couple of sandwiches – that is how I have my breakfast.After that, I pack my stuff. Before going to work, I check the light, water and so on. I get into my car and start a motor. I could go by the underground, but I go by my car because I need it.What do I see on the street again? The endless traffic jams go on and on for many miles. It looks as a sea. I usually spend about 40-60 minutes in traffic jams. 40-60 minutes of my free private time. I reach my work very angry. I go upstairs on the sixth floor. I sit down on my chair and begin to work. My working day has just really begun. "

 

 "I get freshen up. After I finish my defecation, I get dressed up. I go to the kitchen,  boil two eggs and make a couple of sandwiches. I pack my stuff. I check the lights and running taps before I go to work. I commute in my car to work. I get stranded in a pile of traffic jams for about 40-60 minutes. I go to the office in a huff. I go to the sixth floor, sit down in/on my chair and start working."

 

Please do not up vote for me.  Please wait for the other experts to comment on your paragraph as you have used too many "Is" in the paragraph.

link edited Nov 22 '12 at 14:39 sanjay Expert

Sanjay, I didn't read through your entire answer, but the word defecation jumped out at me. This is not an action that the writer likely wants to mention. Look it up in the dictionary.

Patty TNov 22 '12 at 17:43

After I attend to call of nature... Is it correct, ma'am?

sanjayNov 23 '12 at 04:14

add comment
1

I just calculated the no of "Is" and other things.

Is =24

After that=2

But=3

 

Do not mistake me. I am not pulling you up on your grammar. 

link comment answered Nov 22 '12 at 14:54 Koshik Contributor

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.