How should I amend this sentence

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Evidence is also presented by Song, Kolb, Lee and Kim (2012) that transformational leadership not only can strengthen employees’ involvement in organisation but boost their creativity which is commonly regarded as an essential point to succeed a business.

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Evidence is also presented by Song, Kolb, Lee and Kim that transformational leadership not only can strengthen employees' involvement in organisation but boost their creativity which is commonly regarded as an essential point to succeed a business.
asked Nov 16 '12 at 19:39 Xiaotong Song New member

1 answer


1

Your sentence is pretty good, but a little wordy:  here's how I would pare it down.

 

Song, Kolb, Lee and Kim also evince how transformational leadership not only strengthens employee workplace engagement but also--essential for any successful business--boosts employee creativity.

link comment answered Nov 17 '12 at 05:52 Shawn Mooney Expert

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