What do you suggest?

0

Grammarly doesn't like how I've wrote this sentence.

See example:

The Democratic Party has now more than ever taken a stance in favor of gay marriage, instead of beating around the bush and claiming they are for civil unions.
asked Nov 14 '12 at 21:37 Karen Stamper New member

2 answers


1

'Beating around the bush' is an idiom and should be avoided in formal writing. Try to simplify your sentences to make them more clearer.

 

The Democratic Party has now taken a stance in favor of gay marriage over civil unions.

link comment answered Nov 14 '12 at 22:06 Lewis Neidhardt Grammarly Fellow
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I agree with Lewis.  Of course, we don’t know if this is formal writing or you are writing a blog that is less formal.  So, I’m going to offer some additional thoughts.

 

I think that you need a couple more commas in your sentence, but I’m not sure exactly where to put the first one.

 

They have, now more than ever, taken a stance.
They have now, more than ever, taken a stance. 

 

One thing that the computer might be picking up on is that “has taken” does not agree well with “beating and claiming.”  If you change it to “is taking”, that could correct the problem.

 

Lewis’ rewrite is spot on, and corrects some other issues that I see, but that the software won’t understand.  The Democratic Party is an entity.  It is an it, not a they.  Also, the party itself either does or does not take a stance.  The members may agree on a stance more than ever, and they may beat around the bush or make claims.  You seem to be talking more about the members of the party rather than the party itself.  Also, “claiming they are for civil unions” implies that a person is actually against any sort of civil union.  I suspect that you really are talking about people who have supported civil unions because it was considered political suicide to support anything more. You can probably find a clearer way of expressing that in your sentence.

link answered Nov 14 '12 at 23:02 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

I saw this question before the other, so now I know that indeed it is formal writing.

Patty TNov 14 '12 at 23:28

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