Mist hid the overcast sky and covered the tops of the tall oak trees.

0

Do this sentence sounds right?

asked Jan 28 '11 at 12:27 Noel Jones New member

Btw, your question is not grammatically correct — the proper variant is: "Does the sentence sound right?" VsevolodJan 28 '11 at 20:08

Thanks for telling me Vsevolod. Noel JonesJan 29 '11 at 18:05

add comment

1 answer


0

Noel,

 

Can you please clarify the situation you are trying to describe?

It's not very clear what you want to say with this sentence.  When you say mist, do you mean fog? If the mist/fog is hiding the sky, how do you know it's overcast?  And, as mist or fog has a floating nature rather than a heavy nature is seems strange to say it covered to tops of the oak trees.

I think if you are describing fog, you should say that.  Also, try using verbs which are consistent with the behaviour of fog, like hover, float, hang, drift, etc.

Let me know if you need more input!

I hope this helps.

Kim

link answered Jan 28 '11 at 13:01 Kimberly Expert

Hello Kim, your answer helps and thank you very much. I've changed the opening of my book from mist hid...... to (Fog hovered the black forest and floated along the trees. Jay threw his canvas bag over his shoulder. He ran past a belt of trees and leapt over a log. He dashed past some little creatures that hid themselves behind the bushes.) Do this sentence in the bracket sounds okay to you? Noel JonesJan 29 '11 at 18:04

add comment

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.