Faulty Parallelism

0

Suggestions to correct this sentence:"The children that scored below will be provided with more educational opportunities to promote development and learning to the next level.

See example:

The Children that scored below will be provided with more educational opportunities to promote development and learning to next level.
asked Oct 30 '12 at 02:58 Beverly Woods New member

1 answer


-1

You will need to add value they scored below. Also, this is passive voice, but this can be changed by using the verb 'will receive' rather than 'will be provided'. You can remove 'promote development...' and simplify the sentence.

 

The children who scored below (scored below what? insert here) will receive more educational opportunities to  help them progress to the next level.

link comment edited Oct 30 '12 at 22:18 Lewis Neidhardt Grammarly Fellow

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