How can I fix this sentence?

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I am unsure what is wrong with this sentence...

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Latinos are no exception to such prediction, Latinos are one of the most rapidly growing populations in the United States and the National Alliance for Hispanic Health has identified them as being at high-risk for mental health problems, specifically for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse .
asked Oct 26 '12 at 01:08 Pauline New member

1 answer


1

Your sample has many problems. First, it is too long and wordy -- perhaps because it manages to combine a comma splice connecting an independent clause to a run-on that combines two more independent clauses. You must break the sample into two sentences by changing the comma follow prediction with a period. You need to add a comma following "United States." -- but you may wish to consider breaking it into two sentences at this point.

 

You cannot have "one of the most." You can have either "the most" or "one of the more."

 

"High risk" is not hyphenated in your usage.

 

There are more, but that's all the time have tonight.

 

I hope this helps.

link comment answered Oct 26 '12 at 01:42 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

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