Letter to the University Admission office

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Hello? I need your help. I submitted my application to my adorable University. But, I am worrying about my references. They were sent directly admission office. So need to make sure that admission officer know that these references belong to me. I wrote a letter but I feel it is not good enough. Can you revise it for me? Please? Thank you very much for helping millions of people:)
Here is my letter:

Dear Sirs/Madams Good Morning? I, Deegii , registration number 99999, am willing to pursue my Masters in Finance at prestigious XYZ. I have only eyes for accepting XYZ and worrying about if my reference letter handed in right time and accompany my application. Two of my previous professors provided me a reference letter and sent them directly to XYZ Admission office. I have just realized that there is a possibility for my references could not state my name clearly. Therefore, I would like to make sure if my references were accompany my application. One of my references was sent by Mr. X, President of  UB Toastmaster International, and a lecturer of LLL. The other one was sent by Mrs. Y, a lecturer at LLL Is it possible for you to check if my references considered for me? I am looking forward hearing from you. Thank you very much for your time. Best Regards, Deegii 

edited Oct 18 '12 at 08:46 Delgermaa New member

1 answer


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I would greatly simplify this letter to make it easier for the recipient to figure out what you want him to do.  First, find out the name of the admissions officer and address the letter to that person.  This is usually fairly easy to discover.  You don’t have to state your name in the text of the letter.  Your signature will show your name and you can include your registration number there. 

 

I believe this is a cultural difference, but in the US, most would consider parts of your letter to be over-the-top, even to the point of being annoying.  The admissions office already knows that you want to attend the university.  There is no need to state that, to compliment the university, or to express how much you yearn to attend the school.  Just cut to the chase, be concise, and ask for the assistance you are seeking. All of the extra words and sentences just take up time; a busy person won't appreciate having to sort through all that to find out what you want.  Terms such as “adorable” and “only have eyes for” are generally reserved for much more personal uses.  Kittens and babies are adorable.  You only have eyes for your girlfriend. 

 

Two of my former professors have sent reference letters directly to your office.  I am concerned that these letters may not be correctly matched to my application.  These letters are from Mr. X and Mrs. Y, both lecturers at LLL.  Can you please confirm that the references have arrived and are attached to my application?  Thank you for your assistance.  

link answered Oct 18 '12 at 08:56 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

Thank you very much for your advice. It was very helpful.

DelgermaaOct 29 '12 at 10:02

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