wordy sentence

1

How best can I frame this sentence making it less wordy but maintain the content?

 

To identify plants with natural resistance to the Napier stunt disease in the effort of developing an integrated management approach for managing this disease in western Kenya.

asked Oct 10 '12 at 18:07 Emily Wamalwa New member

1 answer


0

First, your "sentence" is an incomplete fragment. It is a dependent clause in search of a main clause.

 

That said, your phrase could be made more concise. "In the effort of developing" could be said simply as "and thus develop." "Integrated management approach for managing" is redundant. You could say either "integrated approach for managing" or "integrated management approach." You can also collapse "disease" into this phrase.

 

"with natural resistance to the Napier stunt disease" could also be stated as "with natural Napier stunt disease resistance"

 

To identify plants with natural Napier stunt disease resistance and thus develop an integrated disease management approach for western Kenya.

I hope this helps.

link comment answered Oct 10 '12 at 19:35 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

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