question

-1

how to make that sentence shorter?

See example:

The American Association of College of Nursing states the DNP graduates should be able to use their understanding of the practice context to document practice trends, identify potential systemic changes, and make improvements in the care of their particular patient populations in the systems within their practice .
asked Oct 09 '12 at 03:11 Linda Mangum New member

3 answers


1

Although technical writing can be wordy, this sentence could be more concise. Here are some thoughts toward that end.

 

"should be able to use" --> "should use"

"should be able to use their understanding of the practice context to document ..." --> is this phrase really necessary? Could "should be able to document" serve just as well?

"practice context" --> this is jargon. This is similar to saying the "workplace context." Why not just say "practice."

"their particular patient populations" --> this is an unnecessary intensifier. Drop it.

"make improvements in the care of their particular patient populations" --> "improve patient care"

"in the systems within their practice" --> Is this really needed?

 

The American Association of College of Nursing states the DNP graduates should be able to document practice trends, identify potential systemic changes, and improve patient care within their practice.

 

I hope I have changed your meaning.

link answered Oct 09 '12 at 06:02 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

Haha. I wish you had written my old school texts, Jeff. Also, I'm pretty sure you wish you hadn't changed her meaning.

mysticeteOct 09 '12 at 10:20

add comment
0

That's actually pretty concise. It's not unnusual for technical sentences to be quite long.  You could simplify it by breaking up the list into separate sentences, but I wouldn't recommend it.

link comment answered Oct 09 '12 at 04:41 mysticete Contributor
0

Also, take care when giving the names of institutions, organizations, etc. to accurately quote the name as used by that institution/organization.

link comment answered Oct 09 '12 at 07:08 Peter Guess Expert

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