The speaking rule of having a pause.
To tell the difference, you have to listen carefully. The non-restrictive use tends to have a little pause before and after and the voice drops slightly -- almost as if the speaker is telling you a secret. With the restrictive, the voice tends to rise a bit on that/which, giving the word greater emphasis.
I really appreciate your great help and time and I have fallen into confuision again because when I watch movies and news or whatever, sometimes native English speakers do not care about the rule and they just speak English so fast that I do not know whether there is a non defining relative clause or not.
So my point is that the speaking rule you said is followed by native English speakers strictly or sometimes it is ignored because of certain context or depending on people?
Thank you so much as usual and I really hope to hear from you again.
1 answer 
You must remember three things.
Most speakers of any language do not know the rules. They do what comes naturally.
Non-restrictive clauses are a fairly complex sentence structure. Much of common speech, especially in movie dialogue, uses fairly simple forms. You don't hear it because it is less common in speech.
The pauses and inflections are there. We native speakers can hear them because we are used to them. Someone who is learning the language is concentrating on the word's meaning, and thus misses the subtle pauses and inflections. Even though I hear Spanish regularly, I still struggle to hear the inflection and pauses. It sounds too fast to my ear.
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edited Sep 21 '12 at 18:29
Jeff Pribyl
Grammarly Fellow
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Thank you so much as usual.
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