Wordy sentence

1

How can I make this sentence less wordy, but keep all the info. It is a vital part of my research.

See example:

Students whose needs that have not been met by mainstream compulsory education should seek alternative education settings that are roted in various philoshphies and have a sense of community.
asked Sep 18 '12 at 00:09 Lauren New member

1 answer


3

You can tighten it up by taking out some of the smaller words.  Whose needs that have not been met can be shortened to with needs unmet.  Is compulsory a necessary word?  Does mainstream cover that point?  (Mainstream education is more focused on compulsory learning.) I try to avoid using the same word twice in the same sentence (education) to make it more interesting to read.

 

 

Students with needs unmet by mainstream education should seek out alternative learning experiences with a variety of philosophies and a strong sense of community. 

link comment answered Sep 18 '12 at 00:49 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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