How to restructure this sentence
According to the AACN the average age of RNs right now is 55 and with retirement alone will create a 30% increase annually in the number of nursing students needed to replace them AACN, 2008).
If you're going to source the statistics at the end, you needn't also source it at the beginning. Also, the "with" should be removed and the second thought should either begin a new sentence, or at very least get a comma before the "and". Also, you need an opening parenthese at the end.
The average age of RNs right now is 55, and retirement will increase the number of nursing students needed to replace them by 30% every year (AACN, 2008).
|link||answered Sep 15 '12 at 21:50 mysticete Contributor|
You may not need the definite article before the initialism AACN (it depends upon what the abbreviation stands for). You need a comma after it (introductory gerund phrases need to end with commas, regardless of length).. "Right now is" and awkward -- perhaps "now is". "with retirement alone" is a parenthetical phrase and needs to be enclosed with commas.
"30% increase annually" Annually is an adverb and wants to be placed closer to the verb it modifies -- will create. On the other hand, its placement suggests that you want the adjective form, annual -- as in, 30% annual increase. Note; these choices result in sentences with slightly different meanings. You need to pick and rewrite your sentence accordingly.
"needed to replace them" is awkward. I don't know that "needed for replacement" is any better, but ....
Your citation needs to be fully enclosed.
According to AACN, the average age of RNs is now 55 and, with retirement alone, will create a 30% annual increase in the number of nursing students needed for replacement (AACN, 2008).
|link comment||answered Sep 15 '12 at 21:56 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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