This is to bring your notice that my birthday party is taking place on December 12, 2012 at Bangalore Palace at 6pm. I would be delighted if you could spare sometime from your busy schedule to attend my birthday party. You know how important is your presence on this occasion for us. So please do come. I would be greatly honoured if you could make it.
Sanjay, Jazley makes some excellent suggestions.
Jazley's suggestions aside, let's consider your use of "sometime." Remember, "sometime" and "some time" carry different meanings. Which is correct in your sentence? Here is a test -- can you substitute "time" for "sometime"? I would be delighted if you could spare time from your busy schedule to attend my birthday party. If you can, then "sometime" is not the right choice. Now, consider whether "some time" is a better choice than "time". "Some" is often an unnecessary intensifier. As you know, Sanjay, I tend to urge concise writing. In this case, I don't believe "some" contributes much to the sentence and should be omitted.
Speaking of concise writing, let's look at your first sentence. Consider the following examples:
This is to bring your notice that my birthday party is taking place on ...
I am writing to tell you that my birthday party is taking place on ...
My birthday party is taking place on ...
My birthday party will be ...
Each line is more concise than the previous line. Is it really necessary to first say we are going to tell you something, and then tell you it? Or is it just wordy?
I hope this helps.
|link||answered Sep 09 '12 at 16:04 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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