sentence structure

0

How should I write this sentence?

See example:

Services provided during this era were settlement houses to help in the rising immigrant population and care for the sick and the mentally ill, .
asked Sep 07 '12 at 03:41 Jacqueline Charles New member

2 answers


1

I would change this sentence to active voice by including the entity that provided the services.  I’ll call that entity ABC. 

 

The sentence is awkward because you have a list of two items and each item is a long phrase.  When you have a list of three or more long phrases, they are separated by semi-colons.  But when only one semi-colon is used, the second part should be an independent clause so that won’t work.  I would attach a verb to each item on the list to split them apart.  Instead of ABC provided this and that (one verb for two actions) you can say ABC provided this and gave that (two verbs for two actions).  You’ll have to choose the appropriate verbs, though.  Providing services doesn’t necessarily mean that they gave houses away. 

 

Sick and ill mean the same thing, so I tweaked that as well. 

 

During this era, ABC made settlement houses available for the rising immigrant population and provided care for the physically and mentally ill. 

link comment answered Sep 07 '12 at 13:07 Patty T Grammarly Fellow
-1

services provided during this era were about to helping rising immigrant population's settlement huoses and care for the sick  and mentally ill people aswell   

link comment answered Sep 07 '12 at 07:50 sonayna mansha New member

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