Are my sentences correct?

0

Hi!
What do You think of my sentences - are they correct?

 

 

You'll see the quality of your future voiceover from the very beginning, before we start the work,  so you can make your best decision and never waste your money!
We'll gift you with a free 60-second voiceover every time you request a free quote - not just once!
Because we want you to be happy with our service!

 

 

THANK YOU for Your time! Love to all of You!

grammar correct mistakes asked Aug 19 '12 at 22:01 N New member

1 answer


1

The first sentence is technically okay, but it doesn’t make any sense to me.  How can someone see the quality of the end product before the work is started?  Though I have never purchased a voiceover, I imagine that one might want to hear the quality rather than see it.  You have used the words you and your five times in one sentence and eight times total in the three sentences.  That is way too many times!  Look at and listen to the advertisements all around you (print, TV, radio, web) and count how many times you read or hear you or your

 

The second sentence doesn’t make any sense to me either. If I wanted a lot of 60-second voiceovers, all I would have to do is keep requesting quotes from you. Is that really the offer you intend to give to your customers? 

 

The final line is not a sentence.  It is a fragment. 

 

You may want to spend a little money on a marketing expert to write your advertising and marketing materials.  Poorly written material can give the impression that the company is less than professional.  The right marketing person will take every single word into account to find the best way to represent your business to the specific customers you are trying to reach. 

link answered Aug 20 '12 at 00:07 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

Excellent answer! +1 for your answer.

sanjayAug 20 '12 at 17:26

Thank You, Patty T!
Very helpfull!!!

"Is that really the offer you intend to give to your customers? " -
Of course, not! :)))

Wish You a Great Success!

NAug 21 '12 at 01:01

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