how to enrich this sentence

-2

Need suggestion to modify this sentence or any refferenc much more related towards this artichle

See example:

These findings were in agreement with the result from due to the homogenous of density and produce less drying defect because of radial and tangential shrinkage is closely similar.
asked Aug 08 '12 at 15:37 ahmad fauzi New member

2 answers


1

The meaning of your sentence is very difficult to understand due to a variety of errors.

 

It is either "from" or "due to", not both. Is it one result or multiple results? Where did this result come from? The phrase "the homogenous of density ..." explains (sort of) what the result/results are due to, but not where they are from.

 

The phrase "the homogenous of density" is incorrect. "Density" here is a noun and does not modify the adjective "homogenous", rather it should be "the homogenous density" so that the adjective can modify the noun.

 

You have written your sentence with a compound predicate. Remove the first predicate and you can see that the second predicate does not make sense in relation to the subject.

 

These findings produce less drying defect because of radial and tangential shrinkage is closely similar.

 

Findings cannot produce physical results. "Defect" should be the plural "defects" because it occurs in combination with "less" -- "less defects", "more defects".

 

Similar to what? You have an incomplete comparison here.

 

You are trying to say too many things in one sentence. I count at least three different thoughts (four if you count "from" and "due to" as creating new thoughts). But when you combined these thoughts into a single sentence, you left out essential information.

 

Rewrite the sentence, perhaps are three shorter sentences. When you have completed expressed the thoughts in separate sentences, then look at how you might combine the information into two sentences. I don't think you should try to make it just one sentence.

link comment answered Aug 08 '12 at 17:27 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow
0

It is very difficult to correct all mumbo jumbo.  Let us wait for the other experts to correct your sentence.

link comment answered Aug 08 '12 at 15:48 sanjay Expert

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.