My dear Arjun,
I was beside myself with joy the other day when I came to know about your topping the list of the successful candidates in the Civil Service examination. It is really a splendid achievement, and we are all proud of you. May God continue to grant you similar successes all through your life. By the way, are you planning to celebrate the occasion? Your success is a fitting reward of your merit/painstaking labour.
Sanjay, there is nothing wrong with your letter, and it is actually quite nice. I will offer some suggestions. Not because you should make any changes, but because you may wish to hear about some alternate usages.
"came to know about" --> "was told about", "heard about, "read about", "discovered you had topped the list"
"proud" --> "quite proud", "very proud"
"successes" can also be "success". A grammatical argument can be made for either. I tend to go "
"reward of your" can also be "reward for your". I think this may be a British English versus American English thing.
I hope this helps.
|link||answered Aug 08 '12 at 17:06 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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