Mother Flow in Writing
I was told that the following passage was choppy and a mother flow in writing was needed:
An objective of Husserl’s phenomenology is for the researcher to refrain from personal persuasion by using an “epoche or bracketing” method as individual described his or her experience regarding the phenomena (Creswell, 2007, p. 59). One reason bracketing is essential to a phenomenological study is to help deter the researcher’s opinion from interfering with the participants point of view (Rubin & Rubin, 2005). A qualitative design with a phenomenological approach might require time to analyze; however, learning through the stories of the participants may provide the most authentic data to analyze the phenomenon (Merriam & Associates, 2002). The findings from the stories revealed insights into how to strengthen the current reading program at the local school; the findings may have the potential to help other schools with reading barriers.
What is the mother flow in writing?
I believe you mean smoother flow.
One reason writing becomes choppy -- that is, it develops a staccato rhythm -- is that too many prepositional phrases or infinitive verb phrases are strung together. You need to break the rhythm of these phrases. This can be done by using direct adjectives in place of some of the prepositional adjective phrases -- for instance, "the participants' stories" rather than "the stories of the participants". In other cases, the sentence can be rewritten using a gerund verb phrase rather than the infinitive verb phrase. Finally, a choppy rhythm often results when too many of the sentences follow the same simple subject-verb-object format. You can vary the rhythm of your writing by introducing the occasional complex or compound structure -- use introductory clauses or place the dependent clause first.
I am not going to rewrite your paragraph. Individually, your sentences are reasonably well written. However, I will highlight the prepositional phrases and infinitive verbs (but not the entire clause as it may also contain a prepositional phrase. By doing do, you can visualize how the rhythm becomes choppy.
An objective (of Husserl’s phenomenology) is (for the researcher) (to refrain) (from personal persuasion) (by using the “epoche or bracketing” method) as the individual describes his or her experience (regarding the phenomena). One reason bracketing is essential (to a phenomenological study) is (to help) deter the researcher’s opinion (from interfering (with the participants' point of view)). A qualitative design (with a phenomenological approach) might require time (to analyze); however, learning through the stories (of the participants) may provide the most authentic data (to analyze). The findings (from the stories) revealed insights (into how (to strengthen) the current reading program (at the local school)); the findings may have the potential (to help) other schools (with reading barriers).
|link||edited Aug 07 '12 at 15:54 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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