Faulty parallelism

-1

can i get the correct vetsion of the sentence below

See example:

The authority of individual in the new information economy is the product of two key changes - changes of topology of information networks from the hub and spoke model of mass media to a 'distributed architecture' with 'multidirectional connections' .
asked Jul 28 '12 at 09:28 Emmanuel S New member

1 answer


0

I think the sentence is ungainly and needs punctuation. I don't understand what information you are trying to convey, as you are using (what is presumably) industry specific terms, with which I am not familiar. I have tried to re-write the sentence, but in doing so I may have altered your meaning.

 

 

The authority of individuals in the new information economy is the product of important changes, specifically, changes of topology of information networks from the "hub and spoke" model of mass media, to a "distributed architecture" with "multi-directional connections".

link comment answered Aug 02 '12 at 01:17 Barbara Middlemast-Neal New member

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