how can i rephrase this sentence?

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according to my english teacher this sentence just seems awkward so i need to rephrase it somehow either changing words or i dont know but this is the sentence.

 

 Alim understood the responsibility of a father within time, and did not abandon his son like Alim was as a child.

asked Jun 26 '12 at 19:11 erica New member

1 answer


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Your sentence is awkward at two places, and that awkwardness makes your meaning difficult to understand. I've highlighted those places:

 

Alim understood the responsibility of a father within time, and did not abandon his son like Alim was as a child.

 

If I understand your meaning, I would suggest:

 

In time, Alim came to understand the responsibility of a father and did not abandon his son, as he himself had been abandoned.

 

Your teacher may quibble with the reflexive "he himself", but short of making this two sentences I don't see another solution. Other Experts may have a better solution.

 

Also, you did not need the comma following time.

link comment answered Jun 26 '12 at 19:37 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

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