please check the paragraph

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The song is an upbeat tune that became a huge success while The Beatles fought for who should manage their wealth. Keith Petrie states, “George Harrison lyrics have some characteristics similar to Lennon songs. They are higher in cognitive mechanism words reflecting an intellectual approach and a search for understanding” (Psychology of Aesthetics 198).  George Harrison, influence by Eastern philosophy and Hinduism, became the nurture he needed to produce significant lyrics contributing while Paul McCarthy and John Lennon lead the songwriting process; it was difficult for George Harrison to shine his songwriting expertise. He became a passionate writer like Paul McCarthy and John Lennon has been with the Beatles success. George Harrison’s songs influence the Beatles songwriting technics to be more spiritual in their lyrics, and the passion he had used to create those songs.      

asked Jun 08 '12 at 23:27 gabriel francis New member

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The first several sentences are correct.

George Harrison, influence by Eastern philosophy and Hinduism, became the nurture he needed to produce significant lyrics contributing while Paul McCarthy and John Lennon lead the songwriting process;

I'm not sure what you mean here. If I understand you correctly, you are trying to say something like this:

Eastern philosophy and Hinduism had influenced George Harrison in his most significant lyrics contributions, while Paul McCarthy and John Lennon led the songwriting process;

I assume you're talking about Paul McCartney, not McCarthy. Also, notice the correction of the word "led".

... it was difficult for George Harrison to shine his songwriting expertise.

"Shine" is not a transitive verb when being used figuratively. This should read like this:

... it was difficult for George Harrison to let his songwriting expertise shine.

Next,

He became a passionate writer like Paul McCarthy and John Lennon has been with the Beatles success.

This should read "were" instead of "has been" (since the entire action takes place in the past). Also, they were writers with the Beatles, not with the Beatles' success.

George Harrison’s songs influence the Beatles songwriting technics to be more spiritual in their lyrics, and the passion he had used to create those songs.

There are a few revisions here, mostly due to non-parallelism or incorrect words:

George Harrison’s songs influenced the Beatles' songwriting techniques by introducing more spirituality in the lyrics and more passion in creating the songs.

Last thing: this paragraph was a LOT to post, and it took a long time to answer. In the future, you may get faster and better answers if you ask shorter questions that can be answered simply.

link comment answered Jun 10 '12 at 02:46 Jonathon VS New member

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