Emphasize the perspective of the audience and the "you" view

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How would I revised these sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the "you" view?

 

1. Our safety policy forbids us from renting power equipment to anyone who cannot demonstrate proficiency in its use.

 

2. To prevent us from possibly losing large sums of money in stolen identity schemes, our bank now requires verification of any large check presented for immediate payment.

 

3. For just $219 per person, we have arranged a fou-day, three-night getaway package to Orlando that includes hotel accommodations, theme park tickets, and complimentary breakfasts.

 

4. To enable us to continue our policy of selling name brands at discount prices, we can give store credit but we cannot give cash refunds on returned merchandise.

asked Jun 04 '12 at 19:23 Diane New member

4 answers


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Rc

Did you ever get an answer on how to revise your sentences, you posted?

link comment answered Feb 08 '13 at 06:58 Grace New member
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Your task-Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.

 

a. To avoid suffering the kinds of monetary losses we have experience in the past, our credit union prohibits the cashing of third party checks presented by our members. b. To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to this Web site and fill out the required customer information. c. We regret to announce that our electronics center is able to honor iPhone discounts only for a limited initial offering during the next 30 days. d. Under a new policy, reimbursement of travel expense will be restricted to those related to work only. e. We are pleased to announce that you have been approved to enroll in our management trainee program.

link comment answered Oct 26 '13 at 05:55 siraj New member
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Your task-Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.

 

Under a new policy, reimbursement of travel expense will be restricted to those related to work only

link comment answered Oct 27 '13 at 06:46 siraj New member
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Your task-Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.

 

a. To avoid suffering the kinds of monetary losses we have experience in the past, our credit union prohibits the cashing of third party checks presented by our members.
b. To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to this Web site and fill out the required customer information.
c. We regret to announce that our electronics center is able to honor iPhone discounts only for a limited initial offering during the next 30 days.
d. Under a new policy, reimbursement of travel expense will be restricted to those related to work only.
e. We are pleased to announce that you have been approved to enroll in our management trainee program.
f. To allow us to continue our policy of selling name brands at the discount prices, we can give store credit but we cannot give cash refund on returned merchandise.
 

These are the only ones I can't figure out how to revise.

link comment answered Aug 22 '12 at 23:51 Rc New member

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