1. In the event of rain, fans were left having paid for tickets but without a game to see. So a portion of the ticket stub came to be labeled "rain check".
Can I write the sentence underlined in bold like this: Having paid for tickets, fans were left without a game to see in the event of rain.
2. Having a "rain check" from a rained out game allowed the fan to attend a future game instead.
I just wanted to know the style of the above sentences. Could you give me some more sentences of the same style if possible?
The style is known as "random phrases uttered before the girls wake up and the house turns to chaos as they get ready for school."
Looking back, I'm not very happy with the first sentence. I should have written: "When it rains, fans --who had already paid for their tickets -- are left without a game to see." I have left unspoken, but implied, the unfairness of such a situation. I'm not sure that changing the order of the elements -- moving "having paid for their tickets" to the start -- clarifies the sentence. While important, the phrase is still secondary to the "no game when it rains" stuff; placing it first gives it too much importance.
For the second sentence, I should have used the present tense "allows" rather than "allowed".
Seriously, I would call this informal writing, where the words are closer to speech than writing. It is more disjointed, more train-of-thought, than formal writing.
|link||answered May 22 '12 at 21:52 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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