Im not sure about grammar.
The financial crisis in 1929 and 2009 are similar, however, there are slightly different - it is different in term of investment and bank: only wealthy family invested money in 1929 but now everyone could.
The focus of your sentence is the differences rather than the similarities, so this is how I would write it:
"While the financial crises in 1929 and 2009 are quite similar, they are not the same . These differences are in terms of investments and banking: in 1929, only wealthy families invested money; whereas now everyone can."
You have three thoughts in your sentence and it's a bit too much for a single idea. With that in mind, I separate your thoughts into to main thoughts and a sub-thought.
First, you have the sentence that annotates a comparison between the two crises ("crisis" is singular). Then you follow that sentence with the comparison, itself. A colon allows you to add a list or example and I used that capability to tie the second main thought- "These differences are in terms of investments and banking"- with its explanatory sub-thought- "only wealthy families inviested money in 1929 whereas now everyone can."
I changed around the first sentence. A "similarity" naturaly indicates that there are differences. Rewording it this way allowed me to note that they are recognizably similar and yet still flow into the following sentence logically. I added "whereas" in order to highlight the contrast between investment capabilities.
Additionally, since you used the term "now", "could" needs to be changed to "can" in order to maintain identical tenses. By stating that, you include 2012's general investment capabilities underneath 2009's. It's a much more general circumstance. You may wish to specificy "2009's" rather than state "now", in order to more specifically target each financial crisis year.
Finally, I added a semi-colon between the comparative comments in the sub-thought. This is because they are unique sentences brought together by a link in origin and concept.
|link||edited May 03 '12 at 22:39 Fiona Druce New member|
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