Paragraph is restructured - Could you please check?
I specialize in teaching the Basic Computer Skills with innovation and uniqueness through interaction to the students. I have also been successful as a Professor owing to the above. My added strength is passion for teaching.
As I understand that one of your chief activities is the interaction through studios. I consider myself to be well-qualified for the position. Since I have been a successful Professor with excellent communication skills for almost three decades, I can help Laetus Solution bring different colleges under its roof for training.
Given my related experience and excellent capabilities, I would appreciate your consideration for your job opening. My skills are an ideal match for this job. Experience in the supervision of student staff and strong interpersonal skills are also preferred. I am aware of all software applications. I would be very pleased if you arrange for an interview, so that I can further discuss my qualifications. Please contact me at the above mentioned number.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Let's break this down.
"the Basic Computer Skills" --> the article "the" is not required and should be deleted; "Basic Computer Skills" is not a proper name and should not be capitalized..
"interaction to the students" --> the correct preposition is "with" --> "interaction with the students"
"with innovation and uniqueness" --> "uniqueness" is a lost adjective that needs to find a noun to modify; the whole phrase, beginning with "with" wants to be a gerund phasing that modifies "teaching" --> "using unique and innovative methods that emphasize interaction with the students."
"I have also been successful as a Professor owing to the above." --> This entire sentence is redundant. The only thing new is your title. "owing to the above" is awkward. Perhaps that one fact can be added to the first sentence --> "As a Professor, I specialize in teaching ..."
"My added strength is passion for teaching." --> Grammatically, this is fine. In America, we would suggest that you be more direct --> "I have a passion for teaching."
"As I understand that one of your chief activities is the interaction through studios." --> Because you end this independent clause with a period, you do not need the coordinating conjunction "As". It should be deleted. The article "the" before "interaction" is not needed and should be deleted. I don't understand what you mean by "interaction through studios".
"Since I have been a successful Professor with excellent communication skills for almost three decades, I can help Laetus Solution bring different colleges under its roof for training." --> the cause given in the first class does not support the effect you give in the second clause. The first clause lists skills that are useful in a classroom setting, but the second clause says you will be successful in a marketing setting. You need to make that linkage more explicit.
"Experience in the supervision of student staff and strong interpersonal skills are also preferred." --> "preferred" is not the right word. The employer would prefer the candidate have these skills. When you say you preferred you had these skills, you are saying you do not have them. You need to rewrite this sentence to say that you have these skills.
"I am aware of all software ..." --> "aware" is not the right word. I am aware of many surgical techniques -- that is, I know their names -- but you don't want me to perform heart surgery on you. You need to find a better word to describe your computer skills.
|link||answered May 02 '12 at 14:39 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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