Punctuating a phrase beginning with "as"

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How should a sentence or phrase beginning with the word "as" be puncuated?

 

Example:

If Jesus were the son of Joseph and Mary, or the son of Mary and someone else (as some critics have suggested), He would have been Adam’s descendant, as well as Satan’s slave, just like everyone else. 

 

This sentence is difficult to read as it is.

asked Apr 21 '12 at 22:33 lesley sturm New member

1 answer


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The sentence suffers from verbosity...it is overly wordy. In order to make the central meaning of the statement clearer, cut out some of the extraneous phrases. I don't think they are essential to your meaning, and perhaps would be best mentioned elsewhere. It is also a great place to use an em dash. (Google "em dash" for more on what that is, if you do not know already).

 

If Jesus were the son of Joseph and Mary, or the son of Mary and someone else, then he would have been Adam’s descendant—as well as Satan’s slave.

link comment edited Apr 22 '12 at 06:17 Tony Proano Expert

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