can anyone fix my grammer problems?

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Refer to evidence (Alexander the Great at War) including the quote “The Scythed chariots swung into an action at full gallop and created great alarm and terror among the Macedonian” (Didorus), Darius saw that the battle at the Greek-Macedonian right wing had reached a status quo and he ordered his chariots to attack the phalanx. But this attack had completely failed due to Alexander`s cleaver war tactics. As soon as chariots went into action against Alexander`s right wing, the royal shield-bearing guards blocked all their attacks and create the din to frighten the horses and then Alexander`s archers and javelin men who had been stationed in front of the companion cavalry hurled their javelins at some of the horses. Most of the chariots were stopped and bore hard with overwhelming impact against their own ranks. Others continued on against the Macedonian lines, but as the soldiers opened wide gaps in their ranks the chariots were channelled through these.

asked Apr 19 '12 at 10:38 kevin New member

1 answer


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I recently got a "down vote" for offering the same advice Lewis gives.  But the sample is really too long to discuss here.  In addition to the grammar issues that the Grammarly service will point out, there are a number of glaring usage problems that need attention.  To get you started, I will point to a few.

 

"Refer to evidence" is an awkward usage and the entire sentence is structured in a manner that makes it difficult (even after 18+ years of education) to read.

 

"reaching a status quo" doesn't mean what you are trying to express. Status quo means the present state of affairs.  The battle is long over and the status quo is not what Darius found back then. Do you mean "stalemate"?

 

"were stopped and bore hard" doesn't mean what you are trying to express.  If you are stopped, you cannot collide. The status of being stopped occurs after the collision.

 

A "cleaver" is a kind of knife, not a tactic.  You want "clever".

 

The paragraph contains too many prepositional phrases for clarity and concise writing.  Change some to possessives (when applicable) and eliminate others.  For instance, "some of the horses" could be "horses" without loss of meaning.

 

Take another pass and ask again (but shorter please).

link comment answered Apr 19 '12 at 17:01 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

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