how to rewrite this
There are several learning style models discussed by Billings and Halstead and other literature that augments an educator in constructing information presentation and assignments such as personality factors, social interaction preferences information processing and instructional preference
There are several learning style models discussed by Billings and Halstead and other literature that augments an educator in constructing information presentation and assignments such as personality factors, social interaction preferences information processing and instructional preference.
I'm assuming that Billings and Halstead are the authors of one of your resources. "And other literature" is not a valid resource for a paper. Try presenting the information as fact (Several learning styles augment...). Then add a proper citation for your source. If you feel the need to insert the authors into the sentence, make them the subject so the sentence is in active voice. (Billings and Halstead discuss learning styles.)
"Learning style models" sounds a bit odd. But perhaps that is just me. I'm thinking of the VARK model which decribes four learning styles. One model, four styles - not mutliple style models.
Models do not augment an educator. First, learning styles or models just exist. They don't change a teacher. When you say that something augments a person, it sounds like plastic surgery. The teacher uses the knowledge about the styles or models to change or improve presentations and assignments. The educator is doing the action.
At the end of your sentence, you include a list. From the beginning of the sentence, we might think you are listing the several styles of learning. Instead, you are listing various factors that affect what learning style a student might have. The beginning of the sentence needs to discuss what you are going to list, and it doesn't. The information at the beginning sentence and at the end should be in separate sentences, perhaps even separate paragraphs. Somehow, you need to flow from one to the other.
I hope that helps.
|link comment||answered Apr 04 at 10:06 Patty T Grammarly Fellow|
You could revise it as this:
There are several learning syle models discused by Billings and Halstead. Also, ther are several literature that augments an educator in constructing informational presentation and assignments. For example, ther are personality factors, soical interacton preferences, information processing, and instructional preference.
I hope this helps:)
|link comment||answered Apr 05 at 15:21 Melissa Sams New member|
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